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Introduction
Submitted: January 1 2008

My Profile

Health: Excellent

Age at Conception: 45y 8mo

Current Age: 46

EDD: April 20 2008

My BFP

We'd decided to take a summer break from ART (Assisted Reproductive Techniques) until the Fall/Winter 2007. I continued to chart my cycle and we planned to TTC naturally until we took the next step.

When my July OPKs showed that the time was right, I had hoped to BD two days in a row. But DH was having major performance problems and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to risk missing the opportunity with unsuccessful BD, so I decided not to tell him that I was O'ing and to make it all about him. I worked on him with my hands and made it very erotic, which included blindfolding him and lots of hot talk. Armed with my Moon Cup, I got started and once he was done and I'd gotten his semen in my Cup, I inserted it and went to sleep with a pillow under my hips. I left the cup in for 24 hours. This was all we were able to do.

I continued charting my temps and noticed a dip on 10DPO. I also had some spotting before and after the dip and thought that I was out for the count. I'd forgotten that these could be indicators of pregnancy. I had to go in to see my acupuncturist and I knew that she'd ask me where I was in my cycle and since my period was late, I did an HPT. And it came up faintly positive. I tested again the next day and the line was stronger. DH couldn't believe it and we tested again two days later with a name brand HPT and got a positive again. I went in for a blood test and got the official confirmation later that week!

Fortunately, when my DP found out that I was pregnant his performance problems went out the window, and he's back to his old self.

What I Did

Prayer

Visualization

Surgical intervention with RE
-Laparoscopy to remove polyps and repair minor tube damage, also took care of minor endometriosis which was found during lap

Traditional Chinese Medicine
-Acupuncture
-Herbs at different points in cycle on the recommendation of acupuncturist
-Followed food recommendations for my body type

Dietary changes
-Added more organic foods
-Added red meat which I hadn't eaten in years

Aerobic Exercise

Interactive Charting with OPKs to pinpoint ovulation

I was doing acupuncture with an acupuncturist recommended by my DH's endocrinologist. She focused on needling and some herbs, but never went beyond that. She was pregnant and when she went on maternity leave, I chose to go to a new acupuncturist rather than work with her replacement. I did a search and chose a young acupuncturist to work with. She was very positive and I felt like I was in very good hands. We began to work together and she not only gave me specific treatments for fertility but also recommended herbs to regulate my cycle, major dietary changes and some lifestyle changes. I saw her once or twice a week and followed her recommendations. I saw that my cycle became more regular and that my menstrual flow and cervical mucus improved greatly.

History

I met my DH at the end of 2005 and we've been inseparable since then. The first time he told me that his father had him when he was his age then (57) it totally freaked me out, but I understood that he was saying that we were thinking along the same wavelength and that he was ready to have another child, with me. We weren't using birth control but as I had no clue about TTC besides having intercourse regularly and especially around the time of ovulation that's how we proceeded. That December, I needed to find a gynecologist and went to see one for a checkup. I told her that we wanted to have a baby and she told me point blank that I'd waited too long and should've done that when I was married before. She was in her 50's and judging by the photos on her desk, she'd probably had her kids when she was just out of med school. So she'd done things "the right way." I was stunned and couldn't believe that she'd told me that in such a blunt manner. I walked out swearing to never go to see her again. That didn't dampen my spirits though.

One day, my DH went for a checkup with his endocrinologist and told him that we wanted to have a baby. His doctor who's known him for more than a decade, said that he wanted to meet me. So, on the next visit I accompanied him and the endocrinologist told me to head straight to an RE he recommended, since I hadn't conceived yet. I went in for exam in August '06 and the RE scheduled a full series of tests to check to see that my reproductive organs were in working order. As it turns out we discovered a uterine polyp and the RE thought that may have been a possible reason for infertility. He suggested a laparoscopy to remove it. I didn't have a health insurance plan as I wasn't working and had been overseas for so long. I didn't feel comfortable going ahead with the procedure without insurance, so we delayed it. Finally in September '06, we were able to get an insurance plan set up. I went back to the RE and we picked up where we'd left off. I went in for surgery in October and while I was under the RE also repaired some slight tube damage and discovered a bit of endometriosis, which he took care of as well.

The doctor suggested starting with medicated IUIs and in November I began injecting Menipur with an Ovidrel trigger. I was scheduled for an IUI on the 14th day, but my cycle is only 24 days and when I heard that I thought that 14 days was too late. I felt mettleschmerz two days before that. And although my intuition told me to call the doctor to tell him, I talked myself out of it. Went in for one last u/s before IUI and was told that they'd missed ovulation but that I could still do an IUI if could get my husband in right then. Yeah right!!! That wasn't going to happen, can you imagine, "Hi, honey, can you please drop everything at the office, hop into a cab and fill a cup right now?" I told them that it wouldn't be possible. Plus, I could feel that it was too late. Found out later that they wrote in my chart "Patient refused IUI." Went to my RE for followup to see how to proceed next time and he glossed over the missed ovulation. He said "I'm not even sure that you ovulated." and went on to say "We should probably stop banging our heads against the wall, your insurance doesn't cover IVF so we should go to donor eggs." I sat there in a state of shock, unable to process what he was saying. He'd gone from suggesting trying 3 cycles of medicated IUI to donor eggs. He'd never even mentioned DE in our initial discussions. I was completely blown away. I walked out determined to find another RE for my next cycle.

On the recommendation of my former acupuncturist, I called the Cornell clinic was told that the head RE only did DE on women my age. The second agreed to take me with 3 cycles of medicated IUI. So, I was pretty much back to where I started, but I felt like I was in much better hands. My new RE explained everything to me, ranging from IUIs to IVF to DE. He was very straightforward but in a human way, which was much better for me. Off I went on my first round with them. He prescribed Bravelle and I was doing 6 vials a day during my cycle, with an Ovidrel trigger. No need to take you thru the drill of getting up at the crack of dawn to get blood and u/s done, injections, etc. The first IUI didn't work but I was so stressed out by the whole thing that I wasn't surprised. DP completely freaked out at clinic when the nurse told him that he had 15 minutes to produce a sample. Everything went down hill from there, not exactly, but he just couldn't reach his peak, poor guy. To make a long story short, we went home and on the third try that afternoon, with a little help from an old collection of porn tapes, we got the sample. I was a nervous wreck by then, but dutifully went back to clinic for my IUI, several hours after it was scheduled. Don't know if it was the timing, the stress, or just not meant to be, but that IUI was unsuccessful. Had to give a big hand to DP though because all of his determination showed me that he wanted it to work as much as I did. Took the month of December off, because clinic was closed during my days when I needed to monitored. Used that time to learn how to chart and use OPKs, during a non-medicated cycle. Went to RE for follow-up visit and we started up again last month. This time I had much better follicle production and was monitored every day from Day 6 onwards. RE cut Bravelle dosage in half towards the end. Think the timing was good but wish that we'd had more BDing to make sure that the semen was lying in wait for the egg. I just felt funny depending solely on IUI.

One of the biggest problems we had with TTC was BDing on command. My DP had a hard time with that. We were never able to successfully BD when we were supposed to. And having to produce on demand for an IUI totally freaked him out. I couldn't even bring myself to tell him that the RE recommended BDing the night of and morning following IUIs. He pretty much had to go into recovery mode after producing a sample. It's hard for me to understand, but the process always left him a bit traumatized. DP was able to give a sample for the second IUI, and the follicles were great, but still a BFN .I did the third IUI cycle in March and unfortunately, DP could not produce a sample at all. He tried three times but it just didn't work. We also only BD once, about 36 hours before IUI. We tried again in April, but still no luck.

DP was so disheartened but kept telling me that one way or the other we'd have a baby. We decided to take some time off from ART and to try again with IVF or IVF/DE in the Fall. In the meantime, I researched adoption possibilities, joining different forums to learn more about the process. We decided that if we chose this route, we'd go with private adoption. We went to meet with two adoption attorneys. The first gave us a very extensive consultation and bottom lined it for us by saying that most couples who pursue adoption have exhausted all of the possibilities and he wanted us to really think it through. The second attorney wasn't a specialist and didn't tell me much more that what I'd already found out from my own research.

During our time off from ART, I decided not to push DP too much with TTC. He had begun to have performance problems and our sex life was dwindling. He had gone from a vibrant man to one who had to start taking Viagra, but even that didn't seem to help very much.

I kept charting but with the situation as it was, I wanted to just take a break from the whole thing. I told my acupuncturist and she convinced me to keep charting as it was a good way to keep track of my general health, so I did. I'm glad I did because it pushed me to pay attention to my cycle and the best times to BD.

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